Neko Case, the acclaimed singer-songwriter known for her haunting voice and indie rock prowess, has always been a figure of intrigue in the music world. But in her new memoir, The Harder I Fight the More I Love You, Case peels back the layers of her enigmatic persona, revealing a deeply personal story of trauma, resilience, and self-discovery.
The memoir, released this month, is a raw and unflinching account of Case’s journey from a lonely, neglected childhood to becoming one of indie music’s most celebrated artistes. In an interview with PBS NewsHour’s Tom Casciato, Case opened up about the painful experiences that shaped her, the rage that saved her and the beauty she’s found in the world despite it all.
The cover of Case’s memoir features a striking image: a young Neko hugging a cat, with a menacing monster looming behind her. That monster, she explains, symbolises the rage that became her protector. “That rage has saved my life so many times,” she told Casciato. “I’m not getting rid of that rage.”
Case’s childhood was marked by neglect and isolation. Her parents, both grappling with their own trauma, were emotionally distant. “They had a kid,” Case said matter-of-factly. “That was me.” She spent much of her time alone, wandering the outdoors and seeking solace in animals. “There are stretches of time,” she writes, “that add up to literal years that I don’t remember, just because I was so sad.”
Her adolescence brought further challenges, including violence and confusion about her identity. “I have never felt like a girl,” Case shared. “I was loosely raised as one, but I really resented it. I hated dresses. I didn’t want to wear them.”
Despite the hardships, Case found refuge in music and the natural world. Her memoir is filled with vivid recollections of the animals that became her companions—Buffy the dog, Shratsey the cat and Norman the horse, to name a few. “Norman taught me how to let my guard down,” she said, her voice softening as she recalled her first horse, who passed away recently. “He had a great sense of humour. He was a person.”
Music, too, became a lifeline. Case’s journey began as a punk drummer, inspired by bands like Flat Duo Jets. “Whatever the yearning was, now it had a face and a sound,” she said. Over time, her influences expanded to include Bulgarian folk harmonies and the lonesome twang of Hank Williams. Rolling Stone once called her “indie’s greatest singer,” a title that speaks to her versatility and emotional depth.
Case’s memoir doesn’t shy away from the darker aspects of her life, but it also celebrates the beauty she’s found along the way. She writes about pelicans rising like “a swarm of army choppers” over a sea cliff, acres of migrating cranes, and even the absurdity of billboards urging her to “reverse your vasectomy.”
“What a staggeringly beautiful world,” she concludes, a sentiment that feels both surprising and earned given the trauma she’s endured.
For Case, self-discovery has been a lifelong process. “The older I get, the less I know,” she admitted. “But knowing who you are is a really big deal. I’m a gender-fluid person, for sure, and I do know that I’m part of the earth. I am literally a mammal, and that is so comforting.”
When asked what she would say to the lonely, neglected child she once was, Case’s response was simple yet powerful: “Don’t worry, you’re going to play rock ‘n’ roll.”
And play rock ‘n’ roll she has. With a career spanning decades and a voice that can convey both vulnerability and strength, Neko Case has carved out a unique space in the music world. Her memoir, The Harder I Fight the More I Love You, is a testament to her resilience, her artistry, and her unwavering belief in the beauty of the world—even in the face of its darkest moments.
For fans and newcomers alike, Case’s story is a reminder that even the hardest journeys can lead to extraordinary destinations.
