A Memoir that Nearly Tells it All: A review of Malala Yousafzai’s “Finding My Way” — Olukorede S Yishau 

Malala Yousafzai has remained popular since her teens when a Taliban shot her at point-blank range and her memoir Finding My Way offers rare insights into her life.

Malala’s road to global fame began from the moment a gunman invaded her school bus, asked, “Who is Malala?” then without waiting for confirmation, shot her. She went into coma. That incident thrust her into the exclusive club of people globally identifiable simply by their first name. Think Fela. Think Chimamanda. think Madonna. Think Malala.

When she came to, she was far away from home having been flown to the United Kingdom, a country that would become her new home. Even as she lay in the hospital, recovering from surgeries that kept her alive, offers began pouring in. Agents wanted to represent her. Publishers wanted book rights. Journalists competed for the first interview. She survived several surgeries and emerged as an international figure, invited to conferences around the world to speak about her experience and to become a global voice for the girl-child. The stakes grew even higher when she was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

But behind the attention and accolades, what was truly happening in her life? those are the answers Malala provides in her memoir Finding My Way. She reveals that her secondary school years in Birmingham were often lonely as she longed for the easy friendships she had once enjoyed in Pakistan, for girls she could talk to freely without feeling like her life was constantly under scrutiny. Her story, as she tells it, is not only about resilience in the face of violence, but also about navigating adolescence in a foreign country while carrying the weight of global expectation.

After surviving the loneliness of secondary school, she was determined to avoid a repeat in Oxford, where she had been admitted to study Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE). Her mother, dominant like most mothers, we find out at the beginning of her Oxford journey, was determined to dictate her life in the elite university. She chose her wardrobe, but unknown to her, Malala had done her research and had secretly shopped for clothes suitable for her college years. In school, she joined as many clubs as possible, chatted up as many girls as possible and within a short period of time, she made friends..

But while she tried to live a life as normal as possible, security men lurked in the background. They had been there since she got to the UK. They are still there now because the Taliban have not withdrawn their threat to kill her.

But Taliban or no Taliban, life must go on. Malala must find her way. And Oxford helped her find it.

Her decision to truly feel like every normal campus girl didn’t go well with the morality police. One day she was photographed wearing jeans and a T-shirt with a nylon bomber jacket. Many Pakistani men, who saw the picture online, called her names: traitor, porn star. She was accused of abandoning her country and faith. All because of a pair of jeans trousers. Her mother too was mad at her.  “Our relatives are calling. Everyone at home is talking about you,” her mother said.

But she remained resolute in her quest not to have her parents, or anyone, run her life.  “I was going to a rowing club, not on a religious pilgrimage, Mom. I’m not a diplomat representing my country or culture. I’m just a student! And I want to have a normal life while I’m at college.”

It would not be the last time she would face the challenges of being a woman whose body and what she wears play a significant role in how strong or weak her faith is perceived. On another occasion, a picture she took with David Beckham led to her being accused of dishonouring her faith and, on another instance, her mother stepped in front of cameras and slapped off Prince Harry’s hand from her shoulders.

Combining academic work with girl-child advocacy was a major challenge. Oxford didn’t expect students to travel during academic session, but invitations were pouring in from all over the world asking her to use her voice for the girl-child. Torn between turning them down and facing her studies, guilt enveloped her. Malala felt God saved her for a reason and soon began to say yes to the invitations because the organisers said her voice would make a difference for girl-child education.

And so, essays and tutorials took the back seat as she flew from one country to the other. “I would ask why you missed your tutorials last week, but I don’t have to because you were on the news twice from two different countries,” her course adviser, Lara, said and admitted her professors were aware she had responsibilities her peers didn’t have. Lara wanted an assurance that she would not travel again during school term. This was a day before she was supposed to be in Monaco for a paid speaking engagement.

The money from such engagements was very important to her, her parents and her siblings especially with her as sole provider since their move to the UK. Her teacher father wasn’t licensed to teach in the UK, her mother couldn’t speak English and so couldn’t work. So, it was impossible for her to make a promise that would be tantamount to making a date with hunger and lack. Lara offered to work out a make-up arrangement with her professors.

While her friends were involved in college romance, she feared following suit would make her a pariah in the eyes of her people. But, it was only a matter of time before she activated her agency. Enter Tarik. But nothing much came out of her attachment to him. Asser’s appearance changed it all as he became the center of her world in no time when she turned twenty even as she worried about what Pakistanis would make of it.

“It was exhausting to constantly worry about being observed or photographed, to spend so much energy being aware of my surroundings that I could never fully be myself,” she writes. But, the thrill of being loved helped overcome her fears and the relationship endured and dramatically got her father’s blessings.

Now man and wife, her memoir offers insightful access into the life of this global figure who has continued to speak for the girl-child.